A Present For Aizen
by KSFWolfe
Summary: Aizen demands a swimming pool. It's not like it's his birthday or anything, but he'd better get a pool or someone's gonna get Cero-ed! Slight GrimmUlqui...:HIATUS:
1. Request

Aaaaaand it's another Bleach crack fic! Thanks for all the awesome reviews on my last one (.net/s/5274971/1/Im_Gonna_Scream_in_a_Minute if you wanna read it) and I hope this one will end up as good! :)

I OWN NOT BLEACH and yes, for all of you waiting, i think I'm going to fit in ulqui in a dress this time! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Ulquiorra: *hides under bed*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gin was just exiting his room, closing the door and locking it carefully behind him. He had not neglected this routine ever since Grimmjow and Nnoitra had crept into his room and painted it a bright pink resembling Szayel's hair.

He turned around.

"Giiiinnn,"

Gin suppressed a groan. "Hello, Aizen-sama."

Aizen smiled, the sickly smile of a two year old when he wants candy. "Welll. What a coincidence! I was just looking for you and here you are!"

Gin felt sure it was no coincidence. This seemed a little sketchy. He eyed Aizen nervously. What did he want know? Gin to scrub the linoleum in Aizen's bathroom? Or to go buy new uniforms for the Espada?

"Well. I was thinking…"

_Here we go,_ Gin thought, bracing himself.

"If you wanted to buy me something, the next time you were in Karakura Town…well, I know what I would like."

Gin paled. He frantically checked his mental calendar. _Oh no, _he thought, _have I missed- _No, hang on. "Aizen-sama, your birthday's not for another two months." Gin said, flatly. "People don't get random presents, you know."

Aizen glared. "Gin, I am your lord and master! I demand you to buy me,"-Aizen paused for dramatic effect-"A SWIMMING POOL!"

Gin gaped. _WHAAAAAAT??? _

"And not one of those pathetic above ground plastic things. I want a real, proper, Olympic sized swimming pool installed in Las Noches. Before the month is out. Or," he added, creepily, "someone will pay!"

"But Aizen-sama! Where am I supposed to put a swimming pool? An Olympic sized swimming pool!?"

Aizen sighed. "gin," he said, wearily, "what do you think I built Las Noches so big for?"

Gin thought. "um…" Aizen interrupted. "So I could have lots of rooms empty for whatever I might need them for, 'kay? I'm sure you'll find room for my swimming pool. Tootle-loo!"

[Tootle-loo? Oh dear, Aizen, my respect for you just dropped pretty dramatically. Like approval ratings for GW Bush.]

Gin was left staring helplessly at his receding back. _Oh dear god. _

***

"A pool? Awesome! I can't wait!" Grimmjow yelled joyfully. Haribel nodded in agreement, a marginally cheerful look on her normally blank face. Even Ulquiorra, the Suicide Hotline's number one caller, [or at least when he was alive, I guess] seemed pleased with the idea. Gin facepalmed. He had expected this kind of response.

It was Starrk who pointed out the first problem. He raised his head from the table long enough to say, "How are we going to get pool guys from Karakura up here to install it?" then he flopped back down and went back to sleep. This observation put a slight damper on the meeting. But Grimmjow strolled up and clapped Gin on the shoulders, nearly knocking down the thin ex-shinigami. "Oh, I'm sure Gin will find a way to fix that up," he said, gleefully. "He's a very. Smart. Guy." Grimmjow accented each word with a spine shattering pat on the back. Gin made a mental note to ask Aizen to talk to Grimmjow about Personal Space.

***

"Um, yeah. Rectangulars good, I guess, and, um, how deep does it get? 'Cause we're going to want to be diving in it. Uh huh…yeah, ten feet's good…and the shallow…? Four? Yeah, yeah. Excellent. No, price's not an object. Yeah…where…? Oh, er, can I get back to you on that? Uhmmm. You'll have it ready…? Very good, very good. I'll come check it out…hows about next Monday? That good for you? Yes, that's all good. Just give me a call. Bye." Gin put down the phone with a sigh. It was lucky that the Karakura Pool People were so cooperative. But he still had no idea how to get the pool installation to work…maybe he could take the things through the gargantuan [I know what it's called now! Thanks to Vilaagua and Scorpio113 !] and somehow not let the people know…nah, that would be harsh.

He could blindfold them all.

That would be sketchy.

Gin was a sketchy person.

He would blindfold them.

***

"Um, Mr…I was just wondering…are you in the mafia?"

Gin was startled. "Huh? What?"

"Well, I mean, you are blindfolding us…so we don't know where we're going , so the obvious answer is that you're in the mafia and don't want us to know where your headquarters is." The pool guy seemed pleased with himself for figuring it out. Gin lept at the answer. "uh, yeah. I'm in the mafia. Don't tell."

"That's alright, Mr. I've installed pools for mafia people before. I know the routine."

Gin didn't want to know why mafias wanted pools. Maybe they used them to drown victims. Or to take off stress after a particularly brutal day.

He led the blindfolded pool crew through the portal, and carefully into Las Noches. Because of all their equipment, they had to use the delivery entrance that Aizen had installed for the time when Grimmjow had demanded a Porche Carrera and had thrown a fit until the car had been delivered.

Gin had picked out a large airy room for the pool, and he watched as the men got to work. He sighed in relief. It was out of his hands, now, or at least until the pool was ready.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So...there it is. I hope you like! :D


	2. The MALL part 1

Chapter Two! Thanks for the nice reviews on the last chapter, guys! ^^

I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. AND I SWEAR THAT ULQUI IN A DRESS WILL BE HAPPENING...NEXT CHAPTER!!! *dun dun da dunnnnnnnnn*

Ulquiorra:...*dies*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So! Is it ready? Is it ready yet? Come on, tell me! Tell me!"

Gin felt like killing himself. Grimmjow had been bugging him for a week about the progress of the pool, because Gin wouldn't let him up to annoy the workmen.

Grimmjow jabbed his superior on the shoulder. "Giiiin!" He whined, "I wanna go swimmiiiiiingggg!"

"ARG!" howled Gin. "NO IT'S NOT READY YET! GO AWAY AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE!" he ran away as fast as he could.

Grimmjow watched after him. Szayel wandered through the hallway. "what was all that noise?"

"I believe that Gin has lost his freaking mind," replied Grimmjow, sounding surprised. "Maybe we should tell Aizen."

"Better not. He'll just make a fuss."

"And that would delay the pool."

"True, very true."

***

"YO! CUATRO!"

Ulquiorra jumped a mile into the air. He twisted around. A tall figure was grinning down at him. "We're heading down to Karakura! Wanna come?"

"Wh-at?" spluttered Ulquiorra, thrown out of his stride by this strange announcement.

Grimmjow grinned down at him. "Everyone's heading down to go shopping!"

"Shopping."

"Yup!"

Ulquiorra took a deep breath to calm himself. "Why do we need to go shopping?"

Grimmjow looked shocked. "For bathing suits, of course, you idiot! We need bathing suits for the new pool! Everyone's going except for Aaroniero, 'cause water messes with his head," here Grimmjow tapped his skull, "And Barragan, 'cause he won't be swimming because he's too old. He would probably drown."

Ulquiorra thought about that. It had some sense to it. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Very well. I suppose I'll have to come along."

"Alright!" yelled Grimmjow. "Shopppppping!" He ran off, sounding for the entire world like a 16 year old girl going to the mall with some friends, instead of a large, blue haired man going to the mall with some highly powerful and destructive…erm, co-workers.

***

"Everybody in!" called Aizen cheerfully from the driver's seat. All the Espadas tentatively climbed into the large van that Aizen had somehow gotten for the trip.

"Um, Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, "Can you actually drive?"

Aizen paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "OF COURSE I CAN DRIVE!" in a manner that did not reassure Gin at all. Tousen said nothing. He had faith in his master.

Kind of.

In the very back, Grimmjow was singing to his iPod and Szayel was telling him to shut up, but Grimmjow couldn't hear him because of the iPod. Ulquiorra was trying to hang on to his sanity and Starrk was (of course) sleeping. Haribel was slowly stealing all of Nnoitra's M+M's that he had bought, every time he turned away, and Nnoitra was getting mad at the M+M's company for putting so little candy in so big a package.

Suddenly, from up front, Gin screamed, "AIZEN-SAMA WATCH THE ROAD! AHHHH!" And there was a large _clunk_ sound and a bounce.

Everyone went quiet.

"Uh, what was that?" ventured Szayel.

"No-nothing," said Gin, shakily. "It was jus-"

"I RAN OVER AN OLD LADY!" Screamed Aizen in delight. "WOW LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Wow. That's terrible." muttered Haribel.

Everyone remained silent. Except

"Zzzzzz…zzzzz…" from Starrk and

"-AR VI HAR MED CARAMELLDANSEN! OH OH OH-A OH!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Szayel.

"SHUT UP!" screamed everyone in the van.

Grimmjow looked offended. He pulled his ear buds out and frowned. "Don't you _like_ Caramelldansen?" he asked, disparagingly.

But at that moment Aizen pulled the van up into a messy, deadly looking parallel park in front of the mall, and everyone jumped out.

Gin collapsed onto the cement. "Sweet, unmoving ground!" he shrieked. "I thought I was going to diiiiiiee!"

Grimmjow looked knowingly at Szayel and tapped his head. _He's completely freaking insane,_ he mouthed at the pink haired scientist. Szayel nodded.

"Get off the ground, Gin!" cried Aizen. "We're at…_**THE MALL!!!**_"

"Oh huzzah," muttered Ulquiorra.

Aizen glared at him. "Ulquiorra," he said, sternly. "There is nothing, NOTHING more fun than _**THE MALL!!!**_. Don't you know that?"

Ulquiorra sighed and accepted that what his leader really needed was a nice padded cell…but there was nothing he could do about it, and so he'd better-"WHAT'S THAT?"

"What?" asked all the Espada in unison.

Ulquiorra didn't even hear them. He was walking in a trance towards a window, towards the most wonderful thing he had ever seen in his life. He was not aware of anything except for that one window, filled with-

"CANDY!" Shrieked Grimmjow and plowed by Ulquiorra to press his nose against the glass. He spun around to Aizen. "Please can we go in? Pleeeeease?"

Aizen sighed. "All right, Grimmjow, but don't spend all your money, 'kay? You need some for a swimsuit."

"YES!" Grimmjow grabbed at Ulquiorra's hand. "Come on, Emoface! Let's go buy candeeeeee!"

***

The two Espada gazed in wonder at the displays of fantastic candies they had never even imagined. The whole place was one giant sugar high waiting to happen. Grimmjow was drooling over a giant stack of toffee squares when Ulquiorra spun him around to another display. "Look at that!"

Grimmjow looked. "Whoa…" he breathed. "Holy Mother Fucker…"

The two drifted as though pulled by a magnet to a huge chocolate display, showing off everything you could possibly imagine…made of chocolate.

"KITTY!" Screamed Grimmjow and clutched at a chocolate cat. Ulquiorra almost cried. It was like…heaven! The heaven he had always dreamed of until he died and was sucked up into Aizen mad plot for world domination!

Suddenly, the door opened to the shop, and two people entered.

"Pleease, Ichigo? Pleeeease?"

"No, God dammit, Rukia! I'm not going to buy you anything!"

"But they have Chappy the Rabbit made of _chocolate_!"

"I don't care! I just need to get gummy bears for Karin or she'll kill me!"

"Ichiiigooo…"

The arguing Shinigami came closer. The two Espada hid behind a display of…gummy bears. Shit.

Grimmjow crept under the table, and pulled Ulquiorra under with him. He yanked the table cloth down and pulled some boxes in the back so their feet would not be spotted. "Shhh," he hissed. Ulquiorra tried to adjust his position. He banged his head on the underside of the table. "Ouch!" he hissed, rubbing his head. In doing so, he scrapped the table with a finger nail. Splinters of plywood came away, and one found its way into Grimmjow's eye. Grimmjow yelped. "Shut up!" whispered Ulquiorra, frantically. Rukia and Ichigo had arrived at the gummy bear table. Ichigo was trying to decide whether to get Karin a mixed assortment, or the 'Berry' assortment.

"Owowowow!" winced Grimmjow. He was trying to get the wood out of his eye. "Ah…"

The two above paused in their squabbling. "Did you hear something?" Rukia asked.

"Uh…"

The two below were very quiet. Verrrry quiet.

"I guess not…"

"Help me!" hissed Grimmjow.

"What do you want me to do?" hissed Ulquiorra.

"Just get the splinter out!"

Ulquiorra crept closer to Grimmjow. Not that there was much of a ways to go. "Open your eye, trash," he whispered. Grimmjow did so. Ulquiorra raised his hands and yanked the lid up farther.

"Owwwww! Owowowowowow!"

"I said shut up," muttered the Cuatro Espada. "Now roll your eye around."

"But that hurts!"

"Just do it!"

"I swear I heard something this time!" Rukia said, annoyed, now. "Is there like, someone under the table?"

Grimmjow gulped. Ulquiorra took advantage of him being distracted to pry open the eyelid more and he spotted the splinter. Ulquiorra flicked it out of Grimmjow's eye.

"OUCH! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR???" Grimmjow forgot they were supposed to be hiding, and grabbed at his eye with one hand, and slapped at Ulquiorra with the other.

The table cloth was suddenly lifted up, and the curious faces of Rukia and Ichigo peered in on the two Espada.

"Uh…HAI." said Ulquiorra, with a nervous laugh.

Grimmjow glared as well as he could with one eye at Ichigo.

Rukia frowned. "Aren't you two those Espada?"

Ichigo was looking at them weirdly. "Are you like, raping him or something?"

"WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA???" roared Grimmjow.

"Well, he's kinda sitting on your lap," Ichigo pointed out.

The Espada looked at each other. It was sort of true. Grimmjow tried to shove Ulquiorra off and Ulquiorra tried to squirm off, but it was too tight under the table and they didn't get anywhere.

Ulquiorra frowned. "Grimmjow wouldn't _rape_ me," he objected.

"Don't be too sure of that," commented Ichigo.

"Oh, I mean, I know Grimmjow might _try_ to rape me," Ulquiorra looked condescendingly at the teal haired Espada, "But I like to think that I could Cero him into a thousand little pieces before he actually _did_ anything." Ulquiorra smiled evilly at the thought, making Grimmjow squirm uncomfortably. "I wouldn't try to rape you, you fucking emo," he muttered, and Ulquiorra glared. "That's beside the point." He looked up at Rukia and Ichigo, both of whom seemed slightly amused by the whole thing. "Um…could you help us out of here?"

Ulquiorra extended his pale, slim hand. Rukia grabbed it. She dragged him from under the table, and Ulquiorra 'accidentally' kicked Grimmjow in the chest as he emerged.

"_Ow!" _

"Trash," mumbled the pale Arrancar. Grimmjow slowly got out from under the table and stood up. He towered over Ulquiorra, who was about a head shorter. "Don't. Call. Me. Trash." The Sexta hissed.

Ichigo shook his head rapidly, as though clearing it. "What the hell am I doing?" he muttered. "You're Espadas! Why aren't you killing us!?"

Ulquiorra looked a little sheepish. "Erm…well, Aizen-sama requested zero body count, so…"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "If you're not here to kill, than what the fuck are you doing in Karakura Town!?"

"Shopping," muttered Ulquiorra, going red.

The two Shinigami gaped. "Shopping?" Rukia managed to choke out.

"HANG ON A MINUTE!" Ichigo pointed an accusing finger at Ulquiorra. "HOW COME EVERYTIME I SEE YOU HERE YOU'RE _SHOPPING?_" [In my last fic, (I'm Gonna Scream in a Minute) Ulquiorra ran into Ichigo while shopping for spray paint and hair dye. Don't ask.]

Ulquiorra shrugged. "Coincidence?"

"DO YOU HAVE A LIKE, SHOPPING FETISH OR SOMETHING?"

"NO I DO NOT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AND NOW IF YOU'LL KINDLY EXCUSE US, WE NEED TO GO BUY SWIMSUITS!!!" Ulquiorra roared, losing his cool.

"_SWIMSUITS?!?"_

"YES! SWIMSUITS! GOODBYE!"

And the pale Arrancar stormed off, dragging Grimmjow in his wake.

"Whoa." Rukia said when the Espada had clanged out of the shop.

"I know what you mean," her orange haired friend replied.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Za! It was a long one, was it not? Hope you enjoyed!

Yeah, Grimmy wouldn't rape Ulqui, never. of course...not. *worries* Hmmm... O.o


	3. The MALL part 2

Chapter three...Aaaand I messed up big time. NO ULQUI! IN DRESS I MEAN!!! I's so sorreeeeeee! i had it planned out how it was going to happen...but the chapter turned out longer than expected and I'm going to have it next time. I know...I keep putting it off...but now i know EXACTLY how it will work...*evil laughter*

I OWNS NOT BLEACH

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, the other Espada made their way to the clothing department. Suddenly, Szayel asked, "Where's Starrk?"

Everyone looked around. It was true; the Primera Espada was nowhere.

Gin mentally facepalmed. Already, they had lost three Espada: Ulquiorra and Grimmjow to the candy shop and Starrk to-

"Hey! There he is!" Nnoitra waved his long arms and pointed…to the window of a Mattress Giant.

In the window was a huge bed and mattress, and on the bed was…

"STARRK!" Shrieked Aizen. Starrk didn't move. Maybe the plate glass window muffled Aizen's voice. But then again, Starrk doesn't really wake up when you yell at him anyway.

Nnoitra walked over a banged on the window. "Hey! Lazyass! Wake up!"

Starrk didn't move. Nnoitra walked back over to Aizen, who seemed frozen by the sight of his Primera Espada sleeping in full view on a bed in the window of Mattress Giant. Nnoitra shrugged. "He's out fo' the count, Aizen-sama. Sorry, but no one can ever wake Starrk up if he's gone to sleep. No one except Grimmjow, because he's so damn loud, and Grimmjow's presumably raping Ulquiorra under a table covered in gummy bears right now. The table, I mean, is covered in gummy bears. Not Ulquiorra. Though it would be pretty hot if he was."

Normally Aizen would have Cero-ed Nnoitra and then committed suicide after hearing this, but he wasn't really listening. "Gin," he said, rubbing his forehead tiredly, "Go get Starrk out of that sotre. Cero him if you need to wake him up."

Gin smiled. I mean, Gin smiled, even more widely and evilly than he normally does. Because Gin's always smiling. ALWAYS.

And so the ex-shinigami went into the store. He noticed that the store people had not noticed that there was a guy sleeping on one of their beds, and Gin figured this was a good thing. Aizen didn't want any attention drawn to them. He went over to the window. He stood in front of Starrk. Starrk snored slightly. Gin rolled his eyes. How on earth had _Starrk_ become the first Espada? It was beyond him. "Starrk." Gin said. Starrk, of course, didn't move. "Starrk." Gin said again, a little louder. Starrk didn't move.

Gin sighed, then joyfully aimed a Cero at Starrk. "WAKE UP YOU LAZY LITTLE-"

The Cero hit Starrk. Starrk jumped. "FUCK YOU JEAGERJA-oh, hi Gin." He looked a little singed around the edges, but otherwise okay. Gin grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him out of the store, then dumped him at Aizen's feet. "He's up!"

Aizen frowned at Starrk. "Why did you go into that store?"

Starrk smiled lazily. "They had reeeeeally comfy beds…"

All the Espada stared at him blankly. Then, all at once, all the Espada turned to the nearest wall, and, in unison, began smashing their heads against it. Starrk looked at them, bemused. _Wow, I think I'm the only sane one around here! _

A few people stopped to watch the interesting synchronized head bashing, but not too many. It was a mall, after all. One little girl commented, "Are they training for the Olympics?" To which her older brother replied, "If that's a sport, why not?"

They walked away laughing. Aizen immediately ordered everyone to stop bashing their heads against the walls, dammit! And they all did. Because Aizen is a scary guy with god!complex issues. And everyone must obey him.

Gin sighed. "Can we get on with it?"

He felt twitchy. Every time someone made a trip into Karakura, they ran into a least one shinigami/Quincy/supernaturally gifted human. It was weird that the entirety of Gotei 13 hadn't already burst into the mall looking for the source of the abnormally high reiatsu.

For once, Aizen actually listened to Gin, and they began walking towards the clothing department. At that point, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow appeared. Both looked agitated and pissed off.

Nnoitra looked expectantly at them, and all the Espada tried not to think about Nnoitra's prediction of what exactly Cuatro and Sexta had been doing.

Not an easy task. Nnoitra had been very colourful with his description.

"Aizen-sama!" yelled Ulquiorra, "There are two shinigami present in the mall! Kuchiki Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled Szayel. Everyone turned and looked at him. Szayel coughed and folded his hands behind his back. "Please continue, Ulquiorra."

A little freaked out, the Espada turned back to Ulquiorra, who took a deep breath. "Maybe we should leave."

A chorus of dissent.

"nah. Too much trouble."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Traveling through the Gargantuan makes me airsick! I don't wanna have to come back later!"

"Are you scared of two little shinigamis, Ulquiorra? I thought you were supposed to be good!"

"And one of them's not even a real shinigami! You gotta be kidding…"

"Zzzzzz…zzz…zzz…"

"SHAAH-DDAP!" hollered Gin. He glared around. "Let's just go buy the fucking bathing suits. Then we can leave! And if all you blithering idiots can just stay together and STOP SLEEPING" he yelled at Starrk, "Then we can get this whole goddamned ordeal done with quicker! MARCH!"

***

"There, right ahead!"

A stampede of Espada.

Grimmjow stalked right up to the cashier and asked, bluntly, "Take me to your fucking bathing suits section, Earthling!"

Szayel rolled his eyes and wished that he had never lent Grimmjow his science fiction collection.

The cashier looked rather frightened. Grimmjow tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently. "Come on, woman! Haven't got all day, you know! Got puppies' to kill, walls to deface, laws to break, girls to screw! Hurry it up!"

Szayel shoved Grimmjow aside. "Forgive my comrade's rudeness and vulgarity, M'am," he said, smoothly, "but he is an unrefined lout who should be Cero-ed for his impertinence. I will, however, also ask that you show us to the section reserved for swimming outwear."

Now cashier looked a bit confused. Nnoitra poked his head around Szayel and said, "Just tell us where you keep the bathing suits."

The cashier pointed shakily to a corner, and the troop of Arrancar made their way over.

As they approached, Aizen gathered them all around, and said a few things. "Alright. You can all pick out a few bathing suits and try them on…but no taking hours and hours little teenage girls, only one purchase is permitted, guys SHALL NOT wear bikinis" –glare at Nnoitra, who looked crestfallen- "And absolutely no Speedos because that's CREEPY. Off you go!"

Grimmjow immediately fell upon a pair of yellow swim shorts with little black kittens playing all over them. "KITTY!" Then he spotted a nice pair of teal ones with a black band on the top…hmm. Choices, choices.

Ulquiorra picked up the first plain black thing he saw and went into the changing room.

Starrk fell asleep against a rack of suits, and toppled it over. He woke up in a mass of bathing suits, and so found a pair of red shorts with black stripes with white borders along the sides.

Ulquiorra found that the black shorts were too small and went back to look for a larger pair.

Grimmjow agonized over the kitty suit, the teal one, and a new one he had found decorated with balls of yarn.

Nnoitra bemoaned Aizen's outlawing of the bikini and went to spy on the women's changing room.

Haribel was having trouble. There were a lot of bikinis, but all of them were weird shapes and colors and were really tiny in a way that made her fear for the state of humanity. Finally, she found a sort of modest pale blue affair, with little daisies on it. She crept into the changing room, discovered Nnoitra's hiding spot in the folds of a rack of discarded clothing, punched his lights out, and tried on the suit. It fit nicely, and Haribel went to go look at shoes. Nnoitra lay unconscious in the rack.

Zommari and Yammy fought over a purple pair of shorts with stars on them. Zommari won. Yammy cried in a corner before trying on a yellow pair with ducky's on them. Yammy liked ducks.

Aizen ordered a custom made Arrancar style suit which he had designed himself, and Tousen got one too. Gin was offered one, but he fell in love with a stripy thing with skateboards on it and declined the offer.

Grimmjow ripped his hair out over the kitty suit, the teal one, and the yarn decorated one.

Ulquiorra found a black suit with dark green down the sides.

Starrk fell asleep with his head on the red bathing suit he had picked out.

Szayel hadn't found anything to his tastes yet.

Grimmjow tipped a clothes rack over on top of Starrk, who didn't move.

Grimmjow decided that the yarn suit was too flamboyant and discarded it.

Ulquiorra decided that the green and black suit would do nicely.

Haribel wished that she had money to buy a pair of Doc Marten's that looked good with her Arrancar uniform.

Szayel found a plain white and blue swim suit, but it was too small. So he quietly poured growing powder that he had developed in his lab on it until it was the correct size and decided to go see if he couldn't wake Starrk up.

Grimmjow was at the end of his rope. "ULQUIORRA!" He finally screamed. Ulquiorra came over. "What, trash?"

Grimmjow was too agitated to even be annoyed at the insult. "Help me pick which suit to buy." Ulquiorra examined each. Then he said, "for the sake of my sanity, please do not get the cat one."

Grimmjow agonizingly recognized the logic behind this. The cat suit just wasn't very practical in the long run. "Okay." He gently put the kitty shorts back on their shelf. His cerulean eyes filled with tears. "I'll get the teal one…"

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "If you're so ripped up about not having little felines on your swim suit," he snapped, exasperatedly, "Then Cero some cats off the other suit and sew them onto the teal one when we get back! Just not too many. Like, three."

"OH! THAT'S A GOOD IDEA! Why are you do smart, Ulqui?"

"Because I am. Now hurry up; Aizen's getting impatient."

The Espada went to alert Aizen that they had all found what they wanted, and they went to the register. The cashier, who was, at this point, wishing they would just leave, nervously scanned the items and Aizen paid with his Credit Card de Infinite.

***

They were trudging through the mall when suddenly, Szayel said, "Where's Nnoitra?"

He was nowhere in sight. Gin clutched his head with his hands. "Can we go nowhere without someone getting lost?????"

Haribel suddenly remembered something and went red. "oh." She muttered. "I know where he is." She ran off, calling, "I'll go get him."

A few minutes later, she emerged from the store, dragging half-conscious Nnoitra and blushing furiously.

No one really wanted to ask.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poor Cashier...XD  
And yes, i guess nnoitra is pyschic...in a weird, twisted, perverted way.

ooo...I know this is my own fic but i can't wait for the swimming! To see my sexy little Ulqui in a swim suit! and a dress! %D *fangasm*

Grimmjow: Hey! That's MY little ulqui! not yours!

Me: dude, this is not a yaoi fic. He's MINE! MINE! Go read some GrimmUlqui or UlquiGrimm...whatever.


End file.
